Art

In my mind i see the greatest drawing in history of mankind. My hands create the greatest drawing in history of kindergarden.

Feelings

Sometimes people are very quick to judge and dump their opinion on others, but when it happens to them, suddenly everything is different.

Transportation

Airplanes are sky dolphins, riding the waves of turbulence..

Meat

There's a page about dogs which just posted about the beef ban in India and it's flooded with comments of people supporting vegetarian / vegan saying millions of people have survived for thousands of years without meat. 

They fail to remember that vegetarians / vegans need to take food supplements to get vitamins and minerals which is only found in meat, and the fact that homo sapiens are omnivores by nature. If we were not, we would never have put a piece of buffalo in our mouths when we were neanderthals in the first place. If we were naturally vegetarians, we'd have the same diet as rabbits from the day the planet was formed and this wouldn't be an issue. Misusing your power as prime minister to declare an entire subcontinent 'vegetarian' violates the human rights and halts the freedom to choose to eat.

I don't ride a motorbike because I think it's dangerous and pollutes the air, so if I'm prime minister, I can ban all motorbikes. How many people would protest if the prime minister of the UK banned CARS because of pollution? It's the same shit. People have to stop pushing their own ideals onto others.

Compassion

I help people as much as I can, even if it means it will set me back personally. Unfortunately, the majority of people only help when they have something to spare. Even though they help, they only do so if it doesn't affect them in any way.  That is charity, but it's not compassion. Compassion is when you give even when you don't have much yourself, you give even when you can't actually spare it. And then there are people who rather just close their eyes and pretend then know nothing.

Fear

When we go to bed after watching a funny movie, we don't expect something funny to happen in our bedroom. When we go to bed after watching an action movie, we don't expect something to explode in our bedroom, so why is it, that after watching a scary movie, we DO expect to find something scary in our bedroom? It makes no sense.

Cooking

The fire alarm is too sensitive to appreciate my cooking talent.

Scissors

The back end of a pair of scissors can 'cut' your boob if you hold it too close to your chest.

Weight

I want someone to roll me over the floor, so my body becomes longer and thinner, like kids do with play-dough...

Life

My life is like a mechanical bull... I try to hold on, but get thrown down onto the bottom of the earth every time.. Every time I manage to get back on top, I get thrown off again.

Loser

You never realize what a loser you are until someone asks you what you do for a living..

Time Travel

If you have to choose between traveling only into the past or only into the future, choose the past, because the future will always come, but the past will never catch up with the future...

Friends

Don't ask what a friend can do for you, don't ask what you can do for a friend, just be a friend.

Books

Books are better than people..

Wealth

It's easier to be poor in a poor country, than to be poor in a rich country.